Asparagus Off!!

Tonight, it was Doctor Who Monday!! And we had an asparagus off. Our friend Carmen told us that she would like to see us make a delicious proscuitto wrapped asparagus recipe thing she had done before, so we decided to take her up on her challenge!

Then...

Well. Lets be frank. I like bacon. In my opinion, it is greater than everything and anything ever made. Bacon > Sliced bread... The moon landing... and definitely Proscuitto. So I said to Sam...

...It's a battle!

We decided to have a mini Iron Chef type thing tonight. I purchased the asparagus, we had a few other things on hand that we could use for the battle left over from previous adventures.

Proscuitto Wrapped Asparagus

What We Used:

• Asparagus
• Proscuitto
• Cream cheese
• Fresh basil
• Fresh chives
• 3 cloves garlic (what I used, you can use less or more! )

First of all, I trimmed the bottoms off the asparagus and washed them so that there was no clinging dirt.

I then put the cream cheese and the herbs and garlic into my handy dandy food processor and blended them together till they made a brilliant greenish herby cream cheese mix. That was spread onto the strips of proscuitto and wrapped around the asparagus spears. Easy!!

Bake the spears in either a Pyrex dish or a baking pan lined with tin foil, since it's a little messy. I had the oven pretty high since all we were doing was cooking the asparagus and crisping up the proscuitto a bit. Proscuitto is already cooked, after all.

Bacon Wrapped Asparagus

What We Used:

• Asparagus
• Bacon (I used thick sliced, but in retrospect thin might have been better)
• Mayonnaise
• Chipotle pepper spice
• Wierd squeeze tube of habanero and cayenne chilis
• Worchestershire sauce
  

In hindsight, I should have kept more accurate measurements since the Spicy Mayo also made a perfect chip dip.

Sam already prepped the Asparagus, so I didn't have to worry about those. I was too busy dumping the chipotle, squeeze tube chilis and Worchestershire sauce into mayo until it tasted right. And really, that's the key right there. Add as much or as little as you want until it tastes the way you want it to.

The bacon was just simply wrapped around the asparagus then put on a foil lined baking sheet and baked at 375. It needed to be turned a lot... more than the proscuitto did... and I was baking for longer at a lower temperature. At the end, when the bacon was starting to crisp and the asparagus was at my desired level of done-ness, I turned on the broiler to finish it off. Served with the mayo it was fantastic.

Verdict?

It was pretty much a tie. Both Sam and I liked the Bacon better, but some of the people there liked the Proscuitto since it's less fatty, and the herbaceous cheese was fantastic (if a bit salty). Both are fantastic appetizers, though.

Finally, no pictures tonight. I'll try to have them up tomorrow when I can grab Luke's camera. Until then, cheers!

-Sam and Jess

Stuff in the Fridge Sunday: Chicken A La Brandon

Good news back on some of our experiments! Again Sam's landlady told us how much the lemon cake was appreciated, Clara enjoyed the coffee cake, and despite our reservations Kate's Birthday Cake was awesome. (I couldn't even dream of finishing my piece. It was enormous!)

It's that weekly stuff out of the freezer night! This time it's Chicken that Sam wants to use up, along with the last of the chianti we used earlier in the week for the Cormarye and mayhaps this random can of beans we discovered in the cupboard.

B, normally not the most adventurous of individuals in the kitchen (except with pie) surprised Sam a couple weeks ago with this red-wine chicken breast that (apparently) was absolutely amazing. Since B is at work, Sam is endevouring to recreate the dish tonight.

The beans are for something else.

Chicken A La Brandon

What We Used:

• 2 chicken breasts
• 1 cup red wine (we have chianti, which is a dry, fruity red. We think B used a merlot.)
• 1 yellow pepper
• 1 orange pepper
• 6 cloves garlic
• 1/4 onion
• garlic powder
  
• seasoning salt
• white sugar
• 1/4 cup Oil (back to the grapeseed again)
• Olive oil (for frying the chicken)
  

The oven was preheated to 375... Sam mentions that if your oven has a roast setting it would probably work best, but since the Kitchen of Despair is also known as Hobo Kitchen... well...

B originally used a pre-mixed club house roasted garlic and peppers spice thing, but being wierd and liking to do things the hard way Sam decided that we were going to do this ourselves, gosh darnit, and we sure do have peppers in the fridge that need to be used.

Sam cut the peppers into good sized chunks and put them in a small roasting pan lined with tin-foil. The peppers were joined by six cloves of garlic, peeled but whole, and some leftover red onion that needed to be used also chopped into large pieces.

The peppers, garlic and onion were covered in oil, then a little bit of salt and sugar were sprinkled over. The pan was put into the oven uncovered and then watched like a hawk (garlic apparently is notorious for burning) and stirred occasionally until the vegetables were soft.

Meanwhile, while the veggies were roasting, Sam was butterflying the chicken breasts and setting them aside.

Since the wine is dark, we opted not to roast the veggies for too long to add a bit of color to the dish, and proceeded to chop them into even smaller pieces. The other option was to mulch them, but I liked how they looked.

Once the veggies were finished cooking and set aside, Sam put the chicken into the Mok Wok to fry with the garlic powder. Once both sides had a bit of color, she added the red wine and braised the chicken breasts till they were cooked through. We removed the chicken from the red wine and sliced it into pieces. The wine was emptied from the pan and the chicken was placed back in with the veggies, then when everything was good and hot, the dish was done!


Verdict?

I liked the peppers! I actually did! This is a bit wierd for me, but the roasted pepper flavor all over the chicken was fantastic. Though if I had my way, there would be six more cloves of roasted garlic in.

What the Noob Learned:

• Braising
• Butterflying a chicken, ie: more wiki for you, gives you more meat for your buck.
  

So... then there are those beans I mentioned earlier...

Sam's Experimental Veggie Casserole

What We Used:

• 1 can beans (we have fava beans.... and a nice chianti now that I think about it. Heh.)
• 2 cups short grain white rice
• 1 stalk celery
• 3 tomatoes
• 1/4 onion
• 1 1/2 cups grated cheddar cheese
  
• 3 cups of stock or water
• onion powder
• oregano
• black pepper

Sam started by cutting up all the veggies going into the casserole into bite sized pieces and setting them aside in a bowl, then grating the cheese. Normally I would be doing those honors, but I hate Sam's cheese grater with the flaming passion of a thousand suns. Instead I opened up the beans, drained them, and washed the can-goo off. Can-goo is a technical term.

The rice was pre-cooked on the stovetop in the broth, then placed into a large Pyrex baking dish. The beans, veggies and cheese were all stirred in and it was placed in the oven at 375 (same temperature used to roast the veggies) until everything was a hot gooey mess.



Verdict:

Even before the thing came out of the oven we had to appreciate the smell. Admittedly, I was apprehensive about the casserole since I am the sworn enemy of rice (especially white rice) but it was good! A little less spicy than I like, but that can be tailored to whomever is making the thing.

What the N00b Learned:

• Rice + Beans = complete protien!! Which makes this recipe good for vegetarians!

-Jess

Pictures up!

Pictures up in the last post now. Bask in our glorious schnitzel!

-Jess

Schnitzel and Kate's B-Day Cake

Greetings! It is Sam tonight, bringing you Stuff in My Fridge Friday!

Since I went through the fridge in the Kitchen of Despair yesterday and found that I have an awful lot of extra ingredients I don't know what to do with, I decided to make something out of the leftovers. Since we had an extra pork tenderloin and some extra white potatoes, we decided upon Schnitzel and Potatoes Anna. Both very simple and quick and TASTY.

What We Used:

Schnitzel

• 1 pork tenderloin
• 1 and 1/2 cups fine bread crumbs
• onion powder
• garlic powder
• parsley
• Cayenne pepper
• chili powder
• basil
• Seasoning salt
• egg wash (egg with a bit of milk in)

Easiest way to turn a pork tenderloin into schnitzel is this: Cut the tenderloin into three or four pieces, depending on the size you want to make your schnitzel. Put the pieces of pork, one at a time, into a freezer bag and pound on them with something heavy ( I opted for my marble rolling pin and found it INCREDIBLY easy ) until they're flat. Don't flatten them TOO much or you'll make them into mush or break them. Once they're flattened, set them aside on a plate or a piece of plastic or tin foil or whatever is available.

In a bowl, mix the bread crumbs and all the spices together. ( This is just the particular blend of spices that I used, if you'd like to do something else with them, by all means, go ahead! Sometimes, my husband and I just use premixed Roasted Red Pepper and Garlic stuff or if I want something more fragrant and earthy, I leave out the onion powder, basil, chili and Cayenne and opt to use rosemary, thyme and oregano. Experiment! That's what spices are for!! ) Set them aside and prepare your egg wash.


Since I had leftover eggwhites in the fridge from previous adventures, I used those!


Dip the flattened pieces of pork into the egg wash, then into the bread crumbs to coat them. Fry them in hot oil until they're cooked, browning them as much as you'd like!!




Potatoes Anna

• 3 white potatoes, skin on
• 1/4 onion
• Salt and Pepper
• Oil ( I will be using Olive tonight since it's got the most flavor. Use what you have or what you like! )

Slice the potatoes thin and arrange them in a baking dish. I used a Pyrex pie plate, since Pyrex pretty much rocks. Season the potatoes with salt and pepper and sprinkle them liberally with oil. You can use as little or as much as you want, just don't go crazy with it or you'll start your oven on fire. Unless that's just me.


Cut the onion into strips and arrange over the potatoes, then bake in the oven at 350 till the potatoes are soft, browning them as much as you'd like. If you don't want to brown them too much, try covering them with tinfoil or baking them in a roasting pan with a lid.




We're also making a cake for Kate's birthday!! Our lovely friend Kate requested a chocolate cake, so we decided to do something wonderful. Using the same chocolate cake recipe that spawned the TARDIS cake we made a chocolate cake with whipped cream filling and Ganache on top.


Mint Ganache

• 6 squares Bakers chocolate, chopped
• 1 cup Heavy cream
• Mint extract
  

Chop your bakers chocolate and put it into a heat friendly bowl. Put the cream into a pot heat it on low on the stove. Once the cream is hot, pour it over the chocolate, stirring all the while. Add the mint extract and continue stirring until it's nice and velvety smooth. Pour the genache over the cake, using as little or as much as you'd like!

We don't have any pictures of the cake right now... Megs was lovely enough to take a couple at Kate's thing, so hopefully we can show you soon. But it turned out lovely and dericious.

-Sam

Guest cook night: Mina!

Mina has a strange allergy. Mina is allergic to grains. Not a gluten allergy or something like that, but a wierd annoying all encompassing grain adversion. This makes things difficult when you're not a big cook and your repertoire is limited to salads.

We needed something easy but tasty to go with for this one, and figured ultimate fries from scratch might be fun.

Ultimate Fries

What We Used:

• Potatoes (white with skin on)
  
• Oil (grapeseed is my oil of choice, but another low-flavor oil like canola would work)
• 1 lb Ground Beef
• cumin
• coriander
• garlic powder
• black pepper
• Chili powder
  
• Salsa*
• Cheese

*Salsa (we opted to go home made for the salsa, so here's what we used)

• 3 Tomatoes (roma)
• 4 Cloves of Garlic
• 1 Jalapeno Pepper
• 2/3 Onion (we had more sweet onion left over)
• 1/2 Red bell pepper

Note that there's usually cilantro in fresh salsa, but I got this frightening look on my face when it was brought up, so Jess dropped the subject.I LOATHE THE STUFF. I had to cut a large bucket of it by myself in college. BLECH!)

Mina acted as my sous chef tonight for chopping up the Salsa ingredients. I started with the tomatoes, then did the peppers and onions, dicing everything up nice and small. You can opt for a chunkier salsa if that's what you'd prefer. When it comes to the jalapeno's, if you want it to be REALLY hot, you can keep in the white inside of the pepper and the seeds, since that's where the heat really comes from. I'm a bit of a weenie and opted to scrape the white and the seeds out before dicing it up. My husband also has a bit of a time with spicy stuff and since he needs to eat as well, we went with mild.

To make Garlic easier to cut, try pressing it with the flat side of a chef's knife. The skin will come right off without problem! And pressing garlic releases more flavor. Chop it all up fine, stir the ingredients together in a bowl and let it sit and blend flavors while preparing the fries!

Cut the potatoes into fry shaped pieces. Easiest way to go about this is to cut them length wise, then in thin spears. Heat plenty of oil in a pan since you're pretty much deep frying these things to start them off. When the oil is hot, put the spears into the oil a bit at a time ( and you can do this by either placing them in with your hand if you're brave and slightly heat proof like myself and Jess, or you can use tongs or a spatula if you're not used to it, like we had Mina do ) and cook them till they're a golden color and soft. If they're getting too dark, just turn the heat down. Salt the lovelies as you go, either when they're in the pan or out!

Cook the ground beef with the spices until it's cooked through. Then it's time for assembly!!

Put the fries in the bottom of a pan that's broiler proof. Put the ground beef over top the fries, then the salsa on top of the beef. Cover it all with cheese and put it into the oven until it's a delicious melty hot mess. YUM.





Meanwhile, I was getting started on the cheesecake. The lack of flour in everything but the crust made it an ideal treat and GOD I love cheesecake.

(too much. Much too much)

The recipe is out of some old book, but it's been changed and adapted and handed off to me by my mother, so here's the version I use

Orange Chocolate Cheesecake

Crust

• 1 1/2 cups Oreo cookie crumbs
• 1/4 cup white sugar
• 1/3 cup butter melted
  

Filling

• 3 packages cream cheese, softened
• 1 cup white sugar
  
• 5 eggs
• 2 tbsp orange liquor (we use Grand Marnier)
• 2 squares semi-sweet baking chocolate

I preheated the oven to 350 as soon as Sam was done with the broiler.

For the crust I mixed the oreo crumbs and sugar together, then added the melted butter. All of this was pressed into the bottom and a little up the sides of a springform pan, then baked for 10 minutes.

While the crust was baking, Sam and Mina were mixing the cream cheese and sugar. Once the cheese and sugar was smooth, we added the eggs one at a time, then the orange liquor.

I melted the baking chocolate in a glass measuring cup in the microwave, because I'm impatient and didn't want to use the double boiler. We added one cup of the cheese mix to the chocolate and mixed well.

When the crust was cool(er), the (not chocolate) cheese mix was poured into the pan on top and smoothed. I then spooned little blobs of the chocolate on top, and cut the blobs with a knife to make a marbling effect. The cake was put back in the oven for 55-60 minutes with a pan of water to keep the air moist.*


*Most cheesecakes call for a water bath, which involves wrapping the bottom of a springform pan in tin foil then placing in a pan of water to avoid warping. I've never had warping problems with this recipe but I do get cracks occasionally, so I like to put something with water in the oven to keep the heat in there nice and moist.

I LOVE this cheesecake recipe. It's a bit more fun that traditional new york style, and the crust is probably my favorite ever. Too bad the Kitchen of Despair's oven is too hot and we ended up overcooking the stupid thing.

This is my angry face.

See? Too dark.

What the N00b learned:

• The oven is too hot.

-Sam and Jess

Wednesday Movie: Time Bandits

Every Wednesday, a group of us get together to eat food and be ridiculous. Usually this means some sort of movie and a potluck themed around the flick, with interesting results.

We've had 'space food', italian, fried chicken, and chili. But tonight is going to be different. Ryan chose the theme and we ended up with something by the name of 'Time Bandits'.

From wikipedia, describing the beginning of the film:

"Kevin is an 11-year-old boy whose parents ignore him in favour of keeping up with the neighbours by purchasing all the latest gadgets. Without their attention, Kevin has become a history buff, particularly of the Ancient Greek period. One night, Kevin is awakened from his sleep by a knight on horseback bursting through his wardrobe and riding off into a forest that has appeared in place of his bedroom wall. When Kevin investigates, he finds nothing amiss in his room. The next night, he is again woken by sounds from the wardrobe, but this time six dwarves stumble out. The dwarves discover that the bedroom wall moves, and as they push it along down a long hallway, the Supreme Being shows up and chases them. Kevin escapes with the dwarves, and as the hallway ends, they fall into the blackness of space..."

And then they proceed to wander around in time and space, meeting Napoleon (Ian Holme), Robin Hood (John Cleese), and Agamemnon (Sean Connery). It's a little bit mad, and not really all that easy to figure out what we're cooking.

Eventually we decided to put French, Greek, and Medieval into a hat and have everyone draw for what they were going to make. I drew Medieval, B drew greek, and Sam picked up some of the slack and decided to go with French... So we have a couple interesting things for you tonight.



Cormarye

The recipe can be found at Medieval Cookery, but I thought I'd repost the original transcription here:

"Cormarye. XX.II. XIII. Take Colyandre, Caraway smale grounden, Powdour of Peper and garlec ygrounde in rede wyne, medle alle þise togyder and salt it, take loynes of Pork rawe and fle of the skyn, and pryk it wel with a knyf and lay it in the sawse, roost þerof what þou wilt, & kepe þat þat fallith þerfro in the rosting and seeþ it in a possynet with faire broth, & serue it forth witþ þe roost anoon."

So, basically, a pork tenderloin roast. Cool... I can deal with that.

The Kitchen of Despair was a wierd mix of smells during this. In one corner we had B making pita, Sam was getting her lemony Hummus on, and there was an overwhelming smell of Chianti, garlic, and Coriander coming from the bowl I was working over.

Also, the pork turned a brilliant purple color and looked like some sort of alien when I opened the thing up to baste. Totally awesome. We also added some raspberries (leftover from yesterday's cake) to sweeten up the sauce, which was super salty.

Verdict?

The pork was amazing. Juicy with a slight red wine/garlic flavor. The sauce was really salty, so just a tiny bit of it was perfect.

Hummus

What We Used:

• 1 can chick peas
• A lemon
• 3 cloves garlic

Juice the lemon (remember to beat your citrus) then toss everything into a food processor and mulch away. Tasty with pita.

Sam was determined to teach me how to make Choux Pastry, so her contribution (the hummus was in conjunction with B's stuff) was going to be homemade Cream Puffs.

Sam's Cream Puffs

What We Used:

• 1 cup All Purpose Flour
• 1 tsp white sugar
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1/2 cup butter
• 1 cup water
• 4 large eggs
• A Large Piping Bag
• A large Piping Tip (we used a cupcake flower tip)

Filling

• 2 cup whipping cream
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 2 tbsp white sugar
• A smaller piping tip for getting the cream into the pastry later.

Sam started by mixing the flour, sugar and salt together, then setting aside. We would've pre-heated the oven to 400, but there was currently a pork tenderloin doing it's thing.

On the stovetop in a saucepan, sam mixed the butter and water and brought it to a boil. After that, she removed the pot from the heat and stirred in the dry ingredients vigorously. After returning it to the heat and stirring until it pulled away from the sides, she put it in a bowl and beat the steam out of it with her electric beaters. Once it was just warm and not terribly hot, she added four lightly beaten eggs and beat with the beaters until it formed a smooth paste.

After that, the dough was shoved into a piping bag (you can do this with or without a tip. I personally used the large flower tip because it makes the puffs into a pretty shape.) Sam piped it onto a baking sheet lined with parchment paper, each glob of dough a few inches apart, then popped it into the oven.

Bake the puffs at 400 degrees for fifteen minutes, then turn the heat down to 350 and bake an additional 30-40 minutes, or until the puffs are a golden color all over and hollow inside.

After they cooled, sam whipped the cream and loaded it into the other piping bag with a smaller star tip attatched. She inserted the tip into the bottom of the cream puffs and filled them with cream. Fun times.

Verdict:

Cream puffs. They are cream puffs. I love cream puffs.



There wasn't much noobly stuff that I learned tonight...except for perhaps pitas needing to be cooked in an outrageously hot oven. Now... I need to run and watch a movie. Cheers!

-Jesso

Soup and Sandwich Combo

Post dropping off resumes and doing some email work, we decided that today's big project was going to be a highly experimental Orange Raspberry Coffee Cake for Clara. The decision was also in part because we left all our tips and icing bags in the Other- Other Kitchen (ie: My house.) and we were looking for something that didn't involve frosting.

ORANGE RASPBERRY COFFEE CAKE

What We Used

• 2 cups flour
• 1/2 cup white sugar
• 2 tsp baking powder
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1/4 cup instant coffee powder (in this case, we used Maxwell House orange cappuccino.)
• 1/4 cupbutter
• 1 egg
• 3/4 cup milk (as needed)
  
• 1 1/2 tsp vanilla
• 1 cup fresh raspberries (or frozen if fresh are unavailable)
  

Topping:

• 1/4 cup All Purpose Flour
  
• 2/3 cup brown sugar (we used demerara... which is what B has on hand for when he randomly makes pies)
• 1 tsp cinnamon
• 1/4 cup butter

Heat the oven to 350 degrees F (175 C). This recipe can make a 9x13, but we opted for two 91/2 round pans so we could split the cake... half going to Clara and the other half to be devoured by our DnD group.

Anyway... grease and flour your pans. Make the topping first. Mix the dry ingredients in a bowl then cut in the butter until it makes coarse crumbs. Set it aside.

Mix the dry ingredients for the main part of a cake in a bowl (Flour, sugar, baking powder, salt, instant coffee). Cut in the butter until (again) mix is coarse crumbs*. In a measuring cup, crack the egg then add milk until it makes 1 cup. Stir the vanilla into the eggy milk thing.

*Both Sam and I were getting tired, so we handed off the fork to B the Pie Man and he took over for a while.

Add the milk, egg and vanilla to the dry mix until it's moistened and fold in the raspberries. Note that you don't want the batter to be completely smooth. Spread the mix in the bottom of the pan(s), apply the topping in whatever quantity looks good, and bake for about 25-30 minutes or until a toothpick slides out of it clean.

What The N00b Learned:

• Don't cut the butter with the broccoli knife.

Verdict?

Fantastic. It's not overwhelmingly sweet, which would make it perfect with coffee. There's a hint of orange, but just enough to compliment the raspberry. Finally, because of the topping, you're hit with the faintest hint of apple crisp nostalgia.

Dinner tonight consisted of Sam announcing that she had a fair bit of broccoli in the fridge she 'really really needed to use'. We scoured our minds for Broccoli recpies that our very picky eaters (ie: The Guys) might enjoy.

I figured broccoli soup might be good, even though I have a natural adversion to liquid food... But Sam was apparently a genius with soups in school and relished the opportunity to do this. Also, to go with the soup (remember, adversion to liquid food. I generally need something solid to eat with my taste of soup) I figured bistro style club sandwiches would be fun. So without much ado, Sam's recipe for homemade cream of broccoli soup!

What We Used

• 2 stalks celery
• 1/2 large onion
• 2 heads of broccoli (florettes AND stems. Sam was adamant) chopped
• Olive Oil
• stock or water
• Onion powder, black pepper, and garlic powder to taste
• 2 cups Cream
  
• Cheese

Sam started by chopping the celery and onion and set them aside in a bowl. She says you need to have everything prepped before you start adding stuff. Peel some of the skin off the broccoli stems (because it's a little tough) then chop the broccoli. Set a small portion of the broccoli aside for adding later (for texture).

Heat the oil in a soup pot. Oil measurements (according to Sam) vary according to the pot... and when I peeked into the vessel in question I noted that there was just a splash.

Sam Says: 'heat it enough so it coats the bottom of the pot. You can add more if needed'.

Add the onions, celery and the spices, then cook over low heat until onions are transparent. Try not to caramelize the onions because you don't want too much color.

Sam added a bit more oil and the broccoli (note: not the stuff you set aside. Hold that for later). Put in enough water or stock to cover the broccoli. We didn't have broth, though Sam mentioned it would be the best, and filtered water it was. Then the soup was set to simmer until everything in it was soft.

Sam did the honors of mulching the soup. Normally, you'd transfer it to a blender or food processor, but Sam has this handy dandy pot safe hand blender that she just stuck in the pot.

The next step was tempering the cream, which I'm going to hand over to Sam:

"Here is Sam's lesson on tempering cream! Tempering is necessary to prevent cream in soups and other hot dishes from curdling. What you need to do is put the cream in a bowl or some sort of dish that doesn't mind getting warm. Add the soup or whatever hot liquid it is you're using to the cream in small amounts while constantly stirring, until the cream itself is warm. Once all of it is warm, you can add it slowly to the pot!"

Needless to say, we added the cream gradually. Make sure you reduce heat first! After the cream is in, add the broccoli you set aside, taste and add salt or whatever spice you feel the soup needs. Then on low heat and stirring occasionally, wait for the broccoli to become tender.

Cheese can be served on top, or stirred into the soup at this point.

What the N00b Learned:

• For cream based soups it's better to use white pepper(because of the color), though slightly less since it has a stronger flavor. We used black since it's what we had on hand.
• I wish I had the POWER OF SCIENCE. My eyes are burning like hell.
• Never boil soup. Simmer soup. Boil bad. Simmer good. Yay!
• Don't cook your spoon.

Extra Extra:

Club Sandwiches are easy mode, but we can still give the construction order:

(starting at the bottom and going up)

• Toast. We used whole wheat, thick sliced.
• Mayo
• Chicken. ( We butterflied and pan fried fresh chicken breasts, but I've seen places just use sliced chicken lunch meat.)
• Lettuce
• Toast.
• Mayo
• Bacon
• Cheese
• Tomato
• Mayo
  
• Toast.

We like mayo. Apparently


Verdicts?

The sandwich was perfect. Sam opted to pan fry with just salt, pepper, and grapeseed oil which gave the chicken a fabulous, subtle flavor. The soup was fantastic. We didn't need any salt, just a bit of cheese to top it.

What the Noob Learned:

• Getting the core out of iceberg lettuce is simple. Just turn the head core side down and whack it on the counter a few times. Then pull the core out!!
  

-Jess

Bonus Mr Science says:

"The difference between oils is the length of the carbon chains on the glycerol. The difference between animal oils and plant oils is that animal oil is saturated and plant oils are not. But to make margerine, you have to hydroginate plant oil to make it more saturated."

Thank you Mr. Science!

Ugly Stepchild

We're having a difficult time finding the cord for the Nikon, so pictures may be a little late in coming (I'll add them when the rest of our merry band shows up and post up a notice that they're there.) but Sam and the rest of the whovians were pretty insistant that the TARDIS cake was glorious, especially since we were lacking almost all of our icing tools and the icing was a bit of a fiasco. (but not as much of a fiasco as the curdling cream cheese)

ETA: Cord is found, have an image!

It's like the children's drawing version of the TARDIS, turned into a cake. Note the spots where I apparently suffered a seizure.

If this doesn't end up on Cakewrecks, I'll be dissapointed.

-Jesso

Just to add

The lemon cake we did for Sam's landlady? According to B, it was 'like you had randomly made me a lemon meringue pie.'

Which is B-speak for 'you inadverdantly made the recipient's favorite cake'

-Jess

Ryan's Birthday and Doctor Who Monday

With the new season airing, we like to sit down every once in a while and catch up on episodes. This also meant we left dinner to Luke and commandeered the kitchen all afternoon to make a TARDIS cake, plus a twelve pack of chocolate cupcakes for the birthday boy.

Eager for a bit of a change, Sam and I switched our usual roles. (I tend to be Official in Charge of Icing, and Sam's the Cake Boss.) Almost immediately we both messed up and switched back to salvage what the other had done.

CHOCOLATE CAKE (adapted from this one)

What We Used*:

• 1 cup butter
• 1 3/4 cups sugar
• 3 eggs
• 1 1/2 tsp vanilla
• 1 1/2 cups milk
• 2 1/2 cups all purpose flour
• 7 1/2 tbsp cocoa
• 1 1/2 tsp baking powder
• 1 tsp salt

Sam's mentioned that I should probably list the thing I messed up on first so it's not replicated. Butter and sugar needs to be creamed together until smooth, then beat in the eggs and vanilla.

In a separate bowl, mix together the remaining dry ingredients (Flour, salt, baking powder, cocoa). If you have a sifter, go for it... I didn't have one on hand but we didn't see much of a difference in the end.

Blend the dry ingredients into the butter mix, alternating with the milk. When everything is nice and smooth, pour into a greased pan. We used a 9x13 inch. Finally, set the oven to 350F (175C) and pop the thing in for about 25-30 minutes. Or until done. You know.

*We actually made a batch and a half for the cupcakes, so our measurements may be slightly off.

The icing was the same as the lemon butter cream, but minus the lemon and adding some mint extract to taste. For some reason, this one was making us struggle with consistency and I spent a long time with the hand blender barking 'Milk.' at Sam to make it less hard. Also involved a lot of blue coloring.

All in all, this cake is like the ugly stepchild I keep in the attic. I love it, but am ashamed to let it see the light of day. Ergo, unless Sam can twist my arm, no pictures tonight.


What the N00b Learned:

• Cream butter and Sugar together. Makes it easier to get smooth.
• Not every pan is going to be awesome like sam's. Let the cake sit for a while.
  

-Jesso

Experimental Frittatas and Carrot Cake for 'B

I have ridiculous amounts of random stuff in the fridge and very little funds, so the Kitchen of Dispair put together a sunday night Frittata.

A frittata is like a crustless quiche... Eggs, cheese, stuff. In this case I had three of L&D's in store made sundried tomato and turkey sausages hiding in the freezer and begging for a home that became the base of this experiment.

What We Used

• 6-8 Eggs (Depends on the size of the eggs and the size of your frying pan/skillet)
• Splash of milk (we're so scientifically accurate here.)
  
• 3 sundried tomato and turkey sausages
• 1 1/2 cups Spinach (We use fresh. That's our choice to make, though Sam is pretty adamant it would be best with fresh.)
• 1 clove garlic
• 1/2 sweet onion
• cooking oil (We used grapeseed. Olive would also work if you want a bit more flavor)
  
• 1 cup cheese (rough estimate. Though we like cheese, so it may have been more)
• pinch of salt

We started by prepping everything. The cheese was grated, the egg was whisked with the milk and salt, spinach was chopped, onion was diced, garlic was minced, and of course, the sausages were uncased.

(Sam Says: "I wouldn't wish this on anyone... Gah, the casing smells!")

We heated the oil being used in a frying pan, and once the oil was hot we browned the onion and the garlic. After the onions and garlic were caramelized, we added the sausage. Note that by this point Sam had completely forgotten the casing smell and was waxing poetic about the lovely aroma wafting from the stove top.

When the sausage was almost completely cooked, the spinach was added. This gave the whole mix in the frying pan a lovely color. Sam also turned up the heat on the stove a bit to attempt to cook off some of the excess liquid being created by the spinach.

The heat was turned down again and the egg mixture was added. Sam opted out of putting the cheese in right away ("Cheese will do nasty things to this frying pan...") and we stood staring at the mix while it cooked just enough to pull away from the sides of the pan.

(Sam Says: "Cooking a Frittata can be helped along by putting a lid on!" *Puts lid on frying pan*)

We, of course, got to do things the hard way and transfered the entire thing to a round cake pan (in fact, one of the ones we've been using pretty extensively lately), topped it with cheese and dumped it in the oven under the broiler. (This dish transferring problem, of course, could've been solved by the cast iron skillet we don't own.) Also note that the frittata doesn't need to be completely cooked when it goes into the oven.

Verdict?

Mmmmm.


The sausage already had spices in it, and Mr. Divider Pallette (Sam's Husband Thing) couldn't pick out a single overwhelming flavour. So all in all, a success! I liked the fact that unlike a lot of quiche we didn't need to add salt.

We also promised Sam's husband-thing a carrot cake, so one was made. No recipe for that (it was Betty Crocker cake-inna-box) but the cream cheese icing in the container suffered an....incident.... and we were forced to go for scratch. Which I have no problem with.

Cream Cheese Frosting!

I tried to keep better tabs on my amounts this time, for recipe sake.

What We Used

• 250 g (1 package) cream cheese
• 1 cup icing sugar unpacked
• 1 tbsp milk

Again I creamed the base, in this case the cheese, then slowly added the sugar. The milk was an afterthought for the proper consistancy. Note: If you're adding food coloring, the icing may get runnier.

I'm getting a bit better at piping too... Though other than that, nothing fancy with the decoration besides a big squiggly 'sup guys!'.



What the N00b learned:

• Don't use whipping cream in an attempt to stretch store bought icing. It curdles (?!)
• A 'Splash of Milk' is a legitimate term. (According to Sam.)
• The big button on the back of the mixer is eject, not 'go faster'.

-Jess

Is the icing curdling??!

No, Sam, that is a waste of resources.


Bad Sam.

Buttercream, you're doing it wrong.

I'm not going to post the recipe for the cake from yesterday... It's not really our recipe in the first place (though I will provide a link. This is the base we used, and I suspect there will be much more variations on this theme in the future. This was one of the better looking ones that didn't involve cream of tartar or coconut milk or somesuch.)

I can, however, let you in on my Lemon Buttercream!

When looking for a 'proper' recipe for this stuff, we came across one that asked for a tablespoon of butter and about a cup of confectioners sugar. That was when we decided this was stupid and was probably going to come down to us eyeballing it.

You will need:

• Butter
• Icing sugar
• A lemon

I think, all in all, I used about a cup and a half of butter. Naturally, you don't need to use this much (especially if you're not planning on holding on to some of it to jam into a piping bag) so start with a half cup.

Cream the stuff. Smash it into smaller chunks with a wooden spoon and then hit the eggbeaters until it's soft.

I eyeballed the icing sugar and ultimately have no clue how much sugary goodness was tossed in, but add it gradually. TASTE IT. You'll know when you're starting to develop the flavor you want. It has a sweet, vaguely buttery taste. Which is obvious considering the current ingredients.

Check your amounts. Does it look like you'll have enough for your cake/cupcakes/to spoon into your face? Add more butter. Add more sugar. TASTE AGAIN.

Meanwhile, Sam had pre-beaten a lemon. Apparently, if you beat it up nice and good, when you finally cut it in half and start squeezing the juice into a seperate bowl it'll be an easier time, and you'll most likely get more juice in the end.

I added the lemon juice half at a time. Again, taste it... Is it the right amount of lemony-ness for you?

The buttercream will probably be a yellowy cream color at this point. Don't worry about it, as my erstwhile master explained to me, it'll lighten up the more it's beaten. If you're looking for a pure virgin white experience, this probably means you'll be sitting there at the counter for a while, but it won't change the flavor if you don't mind yellow icing. Also consider how light you want it for whatever food coloring you're planning to put in, if any.

What the n00b learned:

It's important to abuse your citrus.

-Jess

Suddenly, Lemon Cake!

With Sam getting back into the swing of things and myself learning the fine art of cake from scratch, Sam's landlady's mentioning that her sister's birthday was tomorrow made a good launching point for the Great Cake Experiments.

This cake wasn't really a lemon cake in the truest sense... It was actually a vanilla cake with lemon buttercream frosting and lemon pie filling in between the layers. It's a bit lopsided, and the piping could be better... but hey... I'm an icing virgin and Sam was suddenly in desperate need of food due to blood sugar dropping so it was up to me! I was also the one that went a slight bit insane with the lemon slices. I don't even know.


Needless to say, despite her involvement, the sheer amount of citrus in this thing would've sent Sam into some sort of rashy allergy fit so I did a lot of the handling once the lemon juice went in. Bev thought the thing was great when it was delivered, probably moreso since I doubt she was honestly expecting a cake in such short order, so for a first attempt we're pretty proud.

What The N00b learned:

The more you whip buttercream, the lighter it gets! In hindsight this is incredbly obvious but I'm glad I know it now, especially since the icing was a bright yellow color when I began.

We also figured that I'm Sam's perfect Sous Chef. Most of the icing process consisted of me carefully measuring out our resources and Sam just slathering the stuff on despite my slightly pained expression.

-Jess

And Then it Began

It started when I got fired.

Wait.

It started when Sam went into Culinary Arts, I think. That's when the big decision that food was to be her life happened, with the commitment that comes with laying down a few grand worth of tuition fees. My getting fired was the catalyst*.

So here I was, unemployed, bored, restless, depressed, and yet being encouraged by this Sam person whenever I made myself a veritable mountain of comfort food that hey, I'm kind of good at this cooking thing despite my inability to use a knife with any sort of proficiency.

And, Sam insisted, she was a chef-in-training and I was a former graphic designer with a touch in the kitchen. Obviously this meant it was time for cakes.

The support we're getting for this little adventure is great. In fact, we're filling our first non-paid-commission/project-thing today with a simple white cake with lemon buttercream frosting. It's currently an interesting mix of smells in the Kitchen of Dispair with the overwhelming smell of lemon zest in one corner, and a chicken carcass slowly being turned into stock simmering in the other, and I have a good feeling about it all.

The blog thing, well, I'm going to credit the inspiration for this to the heavenly Miss Kat who's love of butter should be an inspiration to us all, and will be my first shout out for food blog saturday. Stay tuned for cake updates later today!

-Jess


*I'm not going to get into the being fired bit. It was a bit of a situation that I still don't feel was treated fairly, but it's in the past (regardless of how much it affects my inability to get hired right now...)